Week in review 2/12/09

Some stuff happened this week. Here are some thoughts on that stuff:

-While watching Drew Brees on Oprah earlier today, I noticed that America's thuggish overlord appears to be spearheading some sort of campaign to get people to stop using their cellphones to text and talk while driving. My first thought upon seeing this was, "When the fuck's the last time Oprah drove her ass anywhere?" She's probably had drivers for the last 25 years or so, most definitely since before the inception of the cell phone age. Does Oprah refrain from using her celly when she's being chauffeured around town? I doubt it! And to those who say, "Well Oprah's not driving," you people can go shove it up your ass because if you're a hoity-toity asshole who gets driven around you shouldn't be leading campaigns to tell people how they should conduct themselves while driving.

Now I know some will say, "But Cajun Boy...texting and driving kills people." Well, yes, that's true, but the fact of the matter is that any activity that takes place inside a car while someone's on the open road can lead to an accident. Where's the campaign to get people to stop fiddling around with the radio/air conditioner/glove compartment while driving? Where's the campaign to end dudes getting blowjobs while driving? Don't these things also lead to accidents?

Eat my ass Oprah!

-Am I the only one hopelessly lost in the throes of post-Who Dat Super Bowl depression? I mean, the end of football season each year is a depression-inspiring event that generally takes me a few weeks to get over--something I've compared in the past to being dumped by someone you're madly in love with--but I think that normal depression is even worse when you're coming off a high of euphoria like we Saints fans are coming off of right now. I've only done cocaine a couple of times in my life, but the feeling of coming down from that kind of high is similar to the feeling of coming down from the high of the Saints winning the Super Bowl. So basically the way I feel right now is the way I would feel if I were dumped by someone I was in love with just as I was coming down from a coke binge. I know, I know, I shouldn't complain because the fans of every other NFL team would trade places with me in a second, but it doesn't take away from the fact that the feeling sucks.

And to top it all off, I think I have pneumonia AND pink eye. Yeah, this weekend's gonna be fucking awesome!

-Last night I watched a full episode of Survivor, the premiere of the Heroes vs. Villains special, for the first time since 2002. Why? Because Colby was brought back onto the show, of course. Love that guy. Team Colby!

Anyway, watching it reminded me of how much I loved it when it first came on television. I'm sort of pissed now that I ever stopped watching it in the first place.

-Earlier in the week I was watching Jennifer Garner promote her new film Valentine's Day on Letterman and I just knew it was a piece of shit. I've developed quite a talent for telling whether or not a movie is good by the stars' appearances on talk shows. I've become quite adept at picking up on the body language hints given off by the stars when they're talking about the movie, not to mention how the talk show hosts, specifically Letterman, talk about the film. Since they're typically sent screeners prior to the guest appearing on the show, the hosts know whether the film being promoted on their show is a steaming pile of dung or not, and Letterman doesn't even try to hide his lack of enthusiasm for many of them. Conversely, if he really likes something, he'll fawn all over it, whereas if he doesn't really give it any compliments, or if he just makes jokes about it, you know it sucks.

Poor Garner, who was made up like a clown no less, was virtually begging people to go see the film. "Please, PLEASE go see this...It's such an awesome date film...And guys don't worry because it's totally not a chick flick!" I could literally smell the desperation coming through my TV screen, which is another tell-tale sign of a horrendous flop. And, as expected, the reviews came out today and just about every reputable critic trashed it. However, I wouldn't be surprised if it still made 20-30 million bucks this weekend.

-Speaking of Valentine's day, the relentless loop of "He went to Jared" "I'm right here, and I always will be" jewelry store commercials will inspire me to stab myself in the cock before the end of the weekend. Bet on it.

-On Sunday night, HBO premieres a new show about young, ambitious artsy types living in NYC called "How To Make It In America." If you have HBO On Demand you can watch it now, which I did and...meh. Despite the fact that I wanted to like it--after all, the characters on the show all seem like people I know living and working in neighborhoods I live(ed) and work(ed) in, it just feel sort of cheesy and forced. I think it's supposed to be a comedy, but I never really laughed, which is sad because I really wanted to like it because I loved Brian Greenberg on Unscripted. Oh well. I will say this though...I did see a bit of myself in Greenberg's character, Ben, so maybe it'll grow on me.

-With all that happened with the Saints in the last week, it was kind of weird to run across this article that ran in the New York Times just prior to Drew Brees' first season with the Saints. When it originally ran, I remember it being the first time I'd seen or heard anything about Brittany Brees and I remember thinking a) that she was pretty and b) that she sounded like a great girl. The story centers around their decision to restore an old house in the Garden District as their home, rather than living in a newly built house in the suburbs. There were two quotes in the piece that stood out to me, the first by Brittany:

When the St. Charles Avenue streetcar line is repaired, Brees will be able to hear the trolleys from his front yard.

“This is what I think of when I think of New Orleans,” Brittany Brees said. “In San Diego, we had a really easy life. But the easy life isn’t always the best life.”

And the second was by former Saints receiver Joe Horn:

“The first time he had us in a huddle, he let the guys know: ‘I’m here to lead you to a Super Bowl and anything else is despicable,’ ” Saints receiver Joe Horn said. “He was scrappy. He sounded like a warrior.”

God bless Drew and Brittany Brees.

Have a great weekend y'all.