So I posted this on Deadspin yesterday, but of course I just have to post it here as well so I can continue to flaunt the fleur-de-lis tattoo I got on Friday, my first tattoo ever (And probably my only one as well.)! Anyway, it's no coincidence that this came just in time for week one of the NFL season, which kicks off a couple of hours from now. I feel so complete right now.
It almost doesn't seem real, does it? I mean, how long have all we football fans waited for this? Doesn't it seem like forever ago when the last seconds ran off the clock at the Super Bowl and we all headed home from our friend's party overflowing with satisfaction over the fact that the game was stellar in a way that Super Bowls rarely seem to be, yet it was a satisfaction marred by our also feeling overcome with an underlying sadness that came with the knowledge that it'd be months before we'd experience the passion of NFL football once again. And now, here we are, on the cusp so to speak, and really, if you're not on the verge of pissing all over yourself right now, well, you're not really a football fan.
According to the U.S. census bureau, the average life expectancy for an American alive today is somewhere between 74 and 75 years. With that said, it seems as though most true football fans fall in love with the sport at around 13 or 14 years of age, which means that over the course of our lifetimes -- presuming that we're lucky enough to live at least as long as the average American -- we get roughly 60 football seasons to enjoy as fans throughout the course of our lives. Now, many people will claim to have fallen in love with football at the age of 7 or 8, which they'll claim gives them a few extra years immersed in football fandom, but human beings aren't capable of true irrational passion until the onset of puberty, so let's stick with the 60 year/season estimate. With that said, today, opening day of an NFL season (Yeah, yeah there was a game on Thursday but everyone knows that this is really opening day!), is likely to be one of only 60 such days out of the 27,000 or so days we'll live on Earth. So savor this day my friends. Let that processed cheese dip swirl around in your mouth a little so you can appreciate the full spectrum of its flavors. Allow yourself to feel your entire body cooled off by the ice cold domestic light beer you wash it down with. But most of all, when your team does some spectacular or spectacularly awful, don't be afraid to let the tears flow, because that's what real fans do when they watch football, they cry. Or something.
Whatever, let's kickoff this mofo already! Geaux Saints!