The NRA's gifting of an "all-white assault weapon" to Sarah Palin is sure to inspire trillions of redneck ejaculations

So Sarah Palin is kinda hot, though in a distinctly suburban America big hair/wears way too much makeup/MILF-y slut kinda way, but still, kinda hot (don't lie...you'd TOTALLY bone her!) She also revels in shooting ferocious Alaskan creatures like bears and wolves and MOOSES for chili-makin', when she's not beating them down with her enormous cock that is, because that's what "real American" maverick-y broads like ole Sarah do.

Sarah Palin, proud member of the simpleton peasantry, exuder of Titanic incompetence as an elected official, hero to millions because she's fuckable with your dick AND happens to enjoy shooting things. God bless America!

This is, of course, the singular reason millions of this nation's finest rootin'-tootin', "real American" dolts marched on down to the polls to vote for her and that creepy old guy in November of 2008. This is also the singular reason why Sarah Palin, rather than fade away quietly into the glorious technicolor sunset of failed American political duncery, just like so many others who dared to dream to reach for the shining stars only to land on the dark side of a shit-filled moon, still exists as a viable candidate to take the Republican nomination in 2012, as evidenced by the seemingly never-ending bukkake party held in her honor by the wingnut faction of the right wing, the so-called "base" of the party...

The National Rifle Association Foundation will present Sen. John McCain's ill-fated running mate with a military-style assault weapon next week. The all-white "Alaskan Hunter" - fashionable until Labor Day - is the civilian version of a modified M-4 rifle carried by U.S. troops overseas.

Alaska's feisty Republican governor, who is weighing a potential 2012 presidential bid, will receive the rifle made by Templar Consulting at a May 14 NRA banquet. It's engraved with Palin's name and adorned with a map of the state on the collapsible stock - made legal after the expiration of the assault weapons ban in 2004. The Big Dipper from the state flag is etched on the magazine well behind a vented barrel guard.

The rifle is chambered in .50-caliber "Beowulf." It's the same caliber used by heavy machine guns, which can take down big game, and in war zones "can disable both motor vehicles and assailants with body armor," according to ammo manufacturer Alexander Arms' Web site.

My favorite part of this story has to be the fact that the gun is "all-white." The article offers no real explanation as to what that's all about, and my only guess is that there's some sort of symbolism going on here, but I'll leave it up to all of you to draw your own conclusions as to what exactly that is.

(UPDATE: A couple of folks have suggested that the all-white rifle might have something to do with all the snow in Alaska. Whatever.)