Bristol Palin on fucking: "It will ruin your life with amazing blessings from JESUS!"
So Bristol hit the morning talk show circuit today in her role as the nation's newly appointed "fucking is very, VERY bad" spokesperson to tell the world how awful fornication is because you can get knocked the fuck up and then have your life showered with "blessings" from JESUS when the cock-gangsta you're boning blasts your box full of his gooey, gross baby-batter! It's just like, so awful and gross and all, but like, so amazing at the same time.
The below clip alone is so chalk full of contradictions and hypocrisies that I truly wouldn't know where to begin if I had time to dissect it, which I don't because I'm running out the door in a sec for a meeting, so you'll have to figure them all out on your own self! But guess what? Remember how Bristol told Greta that abstinence was unrealistic? Well she was taken out of context when she said all that nonsense, naturally.
Can't you just see Bristol at home being beat down by Sarah and Todd? "YOU'RE MAMA WANTS TO BE PRESEEEDENT, SO GET YOUR SLUTY ASS OUT THERE AND REPENT YOUR SINS OF THE FLESH YOUNG LADY!"
And now here we have an eerily robotic Bristol on GMA with Chris Cuomo looking as though she just emerged from weeks in a subterranean bunker where Sean Hannity, Karl Rove, Rush Limbaugh, and, of course, her bat-shit crazy mother, offered their "suggestions" as to how Bristol should proceed going forward...
Later on in the morning, Bristol also appeared on the Today Show with Matt Lauer, this time with creepy-ass Todd Palin by her side! RUH-ROH, Bristol must have been on the verge of saying something she wasn't supposed to!
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I just wish that someone would've asked her this one question..."So Bristol, whose idea was this abstinence tour anyway?"
11 comments:
I used to have sympathy for her but I can't when she insists on playing the hypocrite. Why can't these people just go away?
Here's what she should have said:
"I made a mistake in having unprotected sex. And while I am overjoyed to have a child of my own and will do everything I can to protect and nurture him, my own life has taken a radical change as a result. I no longer am living for myself; I'm living for him.
"And so my advice to all the young teens out there who are thinking about having sex, I offer a word of caution: the ONLY way to completely avoid pregnancy and STDs is through abstinence. However, if you are still going to have sex, then you MUST use condoms and/or birth control pills."
@Pick,
My first instinct is to agree with you, however as I ponder the incredibly self-destrctive nature that is the present GOP, it pleases me to no end that the Palins-Bachmanns-Limbaughs-Steeles-etc. keep inflicting themselves on the general public.
If this is the best the GOPers have, them and the mouth-breathers that buy into their swill are in for a rough road.
I like having them out there, for the humor it provides and for identifying the short bus candidates.
Now, I'm not saying the Dems we have now are better than sliced bread or yeast infection meds, but they seem a helluva lot better than the last crew of 8 years.
Of course, I could be wrong. If so, I'll being joining most of you in the warm firey place...
Texas in summer.
slam
I tried to watch but couldn't. I got to the clip of Sarah Palin saying the tired old line "Our family has the same ups and downs as every other!" and just turned it off. I don't need it. This is just so dumb. The Palins and the Johnson's sparring over a baby on network TV is just sick sick sick. It's sick. They are all freakin sick. We are sick for giving a shit. I want to puke for us all. Fuck these morons and fuck teen pregnancy awareness day. Wear a rubber if you idiots give a shit. If not then get pregnant. I don't care. Barf, Barf Barf!
Sorry I'm pissed
I hope that poor baby never has to see this! Such a bunch of ..... He's a mistake / no he's not, he's a blessing / but I wish I waited / only abstinence... I'm not here to talk about my personal life...
Then WHY are you here... ugh!!
JUST GO AWAY!
Bristol: "it's a 24 hour job & a it's a huge responsibility." Duh. What is left out in the TV coverage is the fact that Bristol and her infant Tripp have the extreme luxury of coming from an affluent home. Tripp and Bristol have a comfortable (so to speak) home & little financial concerns for the time being. Sex education, birth control & safe sex methods not to mention the the cost of daycare & education & health care much less the average cost of raising a child are not seriously discussed during Bristol's interviews. The anti-science bias insidiously works its way into this weird campaign for abstinence. How are most American teenagers supposed to actually relate to Bristol when the "saving even one teenager from getting pregnant" notion seems to be the only thing that she really has to say? Bristol like everyone else did not pick her parents. I sincerely wish her & her son well, but cringe at the idea that we're supposed to take her or this Candies marketing campaign seriously.
watched for 2 minutes...then stopped
i remember listening to the wingnuts railing against the left for daring to call the palins out on their hypocracy...because...and here it comes...bristol was going to do the right thing and marry hockey boy
now, she is not...so why isnt the right screaming about her being just another irresponsible teen and screaming about the lack of parenting she has apparently gotten?
that entire family is one big waste of life
oh, and now that they are parading bristol and the bastard around the country...its fucking open season on the palins
I am so tired of this cabal of overly fertile circus freaks being on my TV screen.
Please God let Bristol Palin get caught having another hot dog tossed down her hallway before her mother makes it official she's running for Beauty Queen of America.
Because that's what this little tour means, right?
She can't have sex until she gets married!
I'm going to celebrate by falling on as many sheathed penises I can find!
Also, I made it to 40 without getting knocked up -- why hasn't anyone called me with my tips on surviving teendom without a baby?
I kinda feel sorry for Bristol. It's not her fault her mom is a crazy power-hungry nutjob who's hellbent on making a futile bid for the White House and uses her kids as pawns to get there. It's not her fault she and Levi got it on like 99% of other teenage couples in the country. It's not her fault she's caught up in her mom's desparate struggle to control her family's image and stay in as many news cycles as possible.
In the interest of promoting understanding and cultural sharing between East and West, when I get drunk I sometimes try to translate bits and pieces of your blog for my friends in Eastern Europe who are curious about life and culture in Amerika. "Исус благославя след пениса гангстер се ебаваш еякулат му сперма в путка" is my rough, vodka-fueled, Bulgarian translation of "blessings from Jesus when the cock-gangsta you're boning blasts your box full of his gooey, gross baby-batter." My wasted Bulgarian friends repeated this sentence out loud to a crowd of appalled people in an Internet cafe in Sofia. We let the folks know this "news" was about the daughter of "Управител Сара Палин" (Governor Sarah Palin) an unwed teen mother. They indicated they are aware that Governor Palin persecutes witches and that she claims she can see Russia from her house in Alaska. This recent post of yours increased their knowledge of the Palin family. This sentence, written by you, is probably one of the most florid, beautiful, and richly descriptive pieces of English writing since Shakespeare.
благодаря, Луизиана Момче! ("Thank you, Cajun Boy").
@mapko...i loved that story. thanks for sharing that with me. made my night. long live bulgaria!
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