Letters to Obama written by my teabagging wingnut friends!
Last night I received a scornful screed of an email from a old friend of mine from back home, a friend who happens to be a card-carrying member of the wingnuttery who sends inane letters to the White House ALL THE TIME. He was a Texas teabagger! Come to think of it, he's probably hunched over his Commodore 64 right this second trying to create a doctored image of Obama being bukkaked by Hugo Chavez, Fidel Castro and Kim Jong Il so he can forward it to Sean Hannity and all the other friends of Jesus he keeps in the address book of his AOL account as proof that our Dear Leader is a Muslim-terrorist-commie! (And yes, he still actually still uses AOL!)
Here's how the email opened...
I'm sure you and your "intellectual" faux friends in the blogoshpere and in Utopia (ED. NOTE: This is what he sarcastically refers to New York City as) will get a good knee-slapping laugh out of this one. I mean really, how dare I question the wisdom of the most brilliant leader in the history of time. I know that by doing so, it makes me an obvious fool and clearly a racist. I guess because you people don't agree with my opinions then I should just shut my mouth, work as hard as I can and pay whatever you demand to do with as you wish and never question anything for fear of having one of these labels attached to me. That is exactly what we are being told by YOU and all the liberals who spoke up last week after over one million of us turned out to say that we oppose more spending than all presidents beginning with George Washington combined. Enjoy making fun of how stupid us from the south are because we are unable to comprehend how communism and socialism will work in America when there is not one example on this planet or any other planet where it has been successful. Feel free to cut and paste my latest letter to your president and post it on your life's work so all you libs can have a good laugh and continue to say we should not have an opinion! Good luck with all that.
Well, okay...if you insist! I called him earlier to make sure he still wanted me to post this so all of you brain-washed by the Obama Kool-Aid libtards could read the word of truth, and he insisted upon my doing so, so here it goes...
Mr. President:
I am not fooled by you or your announcement to cut $100 million in gov't spending. What an absolute joke. How dumb do you think people are? For a family earning $40,000 annually, it is the equivalent of cutting $1 from their family budget. This is nonsense. Why don't you cut some real fat from the budget and eliminate government funded abortions, abolish the irs, end acorn, planned parenthood, the nea, and any other gov't funded failed program invented by liberals to make the poor more dependent on government. What happened to all the tea bags that have been sent to the Whitehouse? ARE YOU GETTING THE MESSAGE? DO NOT PUT US 10 TRILLION DOLLARS IN DEBT. SOME OF US ACTUALLY KNOW HOW MUCH THAT REALLY IS. APPARENTLY YOU DO NOT.
(Redacted)
Very Concerned Citizen
So there you have it. ACORN! I knew it! (slaps self violently in forehead with open hand)
You know, now that I give this some thought, since Obama only gets to read ten letters per day out of the thousands that arrive at the White House, all of you pissed off, hopelessly delusional right-wingers should just send me your letters to Obama so I can post them here. I happen to know that some people who work in the Obama administration read this here blog occasionally, so it's possible that one of them can forward your deranged missives to the negro president's Blackberry, the same one that Osama Bin Laden forwards him Jew jokes on! I also have a pretty decent Google page rank, whatever the fuck that means, so it's possible that Obama himself can see your letters on this here blog when he Googles "Lindsay Lohan's well-manicured lady parts" or something.
Sooo...what are you waiting for?!?!
10 comments:
That poor guy at the White House who has to read these things. I hope he's well paid.
So all these patriots concerned about excessive and unnecessary spending set an example for the president by... purchasing a million teabags, chauffeuring them around the Eastern Seaboard for 24 hours, and dumping them on a conference room table?
If the IRS were abolished who would pay that poor guy who has to read the letters and reply to them in a calm, polite and rational manner, no matter how nutty they are? ... because if the letter writer ever wrote what they really thought well then that person would have to be punished with some really nasty punishment like say uh having to read and reply to 1000s of letters from concerned citizens.
OMG....is this "friend" of yours a Texan by chance? If so, no wonder you're rooting for us to succeed in seceding! LOL
Planned Parenthood?! WTF? Would he rather tax dollars be used to terminate an unwanted pregnancy or pay for a lifetime of welfare, food stamps, public school, health care, prison....need I go on?!
Oh, the hypocrisy!
You have very interesting friends CB.
that was good... that was real good
is he aware that the programs he cites are tiny in comparison to things like military spending?
when will these fuckers truly behave like the lemmings that they are...and take a leap off the nearest cliff
its people like your mental retard friend there that make me ashamed to say i'm from texas. take it from a lifelong southerner, texas (and the south in general) is chocker-block full of ignorant religious xenophobes like this dumbass. CB, tell him if he doesn't like it to move to france.
::SIGH::
I have read your blog for awhile, CB. I really enjoy it. I'm a New Orleanian, an LSU fan and a RABID Saints fanatic.
You got screwy during the election, but I continued to come back because I just love your sense of humor.
However, in the last few weeks/months...you have gone completely off the deep-end with skewering conservatives and being as closeminded (in your way) as you accuse us of being.
I hate that it has to end this way between us...but the time has come.
I have to break up with you.
::sniffles::
We'll both be better off in the long run - I'll find a new blog, you'll find a more liberal reader...really, we'll be fine.
But, if you ever start back to posting your funny "daily life" stories...throw a comment on KSK or WithLeather so I'll know to come back.
We can have an occasional booty call. That's the best part about breaking up.
P.S. You did introduce me to Palin's Deceptions...and for that, I am eternally grateful.
I assume your friend doesn't need paved roads, sidewalks, clean drinking water, food regulations, schools, healthcare or social security in old age, street lights, street signs, police services, fire services, clean air, a drivers license, driving regulations, bridges, highways, maintenance for the bridges and highways, the list doesn't end. What does he think he gets for his tax dollars? He needs to do 2 things, one-spend a month in a third world country trying to fend for himself (I know of a little village in Somalia) AND then spend 6 months in a country that taxes at a 70-90% rate of income. Then he needs to come back home and whine.
PolySciSuzie
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