Joel Bauer may very well be the single most massive bag of douche in the history of the world
In a past life I worked in sales and in doing so have come across some enormously cheesedicky "motivational speakers" and "sales coaches," but after finally getting around to watching the two videos below late last night (they've both been burning up the internet for a few days), I can without hesitation say that this guy, Joel Bauer, a self-proclaimed "infotainer," is the hands-down champion. He's the Lance Armstrong meets Michael Phelps meets Tiger Woods of corporate douchebaggery. I mean, it's not even close. In fact, this guy is downright scary. I can't imagine being stuck sitting next to him on a plane for a long flight. I'd kill myself. Seriously. Just listen to Joel extol the virtues of a good business card. He's Michael Scott from The Office on horse steroids...
And if you thought that was the balls, wait until you see the video below, the one where Joel teaches how to pack efficiently for extended travel. I started this thing thinking I'd just listen to him riff while I did other things like washing dishes and making a to-do list but literally could not take my eyes off of the guy. The rolling tidal waves of douchebaggery that spring forth from this thing are just hypnotic. My friend Lindsay at Videogum, someone who watches virals videos all day for a living mind you, described the video below in the following way... "I don't think we've ever posted something this long on Videogum, but luckily, the crazy starts at :01 and doesn't let up until 20:54, so you can enjoy it for as long as you want, but if you're like me, you won't be able to look away. It’s AMAZING."
Buckle up kids...
And I could be wrong, but I have a hunch that "Troy" is in on the joke. He's not laughing with Joel Bauer, he's laughing at him.
35 comments:
I believe Michael Schur and the other writers on the american version of the Office based Michael Scott on this Joel Bauer Character...
Absolutely un-fucking believable. Dude, this guy is a jackass! His "I'm successful and you're not." routine is completely crap. He may be a good performer on-stage, but how many people out there in his universe actually like him. I have a feeling he does not turn off the 'salesman' speak evar!
I want to look away but it just keeps getting better with every minute. This guy is a serious tool
He's like Patrick Swayze's character in "Donnie Darko."
he has a wife and kids? im sure they are happy that daddy is on the road alot.
near the elevator in case of a fire? obviously, he only talks and never pays attention... aren't there signs everywhere saying, "IN CASE OF FIRE, TAKE STAIRS"
otherwise, i couldn't stop watching.
damn you cb!
I couldn't stop watching! I love how impressed he is with his own jacket, and how much of a fuck Troy didn't give about the jacket.
This guy is amazing. I've never seen anyone so sure everything they say is fascinating and useful. Reminds me of my Uncle actually, while making me appreciate that at least he's not this bad.
OMG HILARIOUS. Thanks for this.
This talks like he's doing a Jeff Goldblum impression and acts like the father in "Little Miss Sunshine". PRICELESS!!!
Troy is actaully thinking "I'm sharing a room with this fuck?".
I've found myself more and more wishing a comet hits our planet and wipes us all out. Is that wrong?
hey, it's Shooter McGavin!
Ayn Rand was right: losers love to tear down successful people. So a girl whose purpose in life is to watch videos (wow, what an achievement) thinks she has a right to sit in judgment on a guy that has donated more to charity in one year than she will earn in her entire life.
I really can't see what is supposed to be so funny, or douchebaggy... I mean, he wasn't that bad: overly detailed and pedantic, but... He's not selling anything, just giving advice. Is it really that bad? Disclosure: I'm 40, maybe it's a generational thing?
I just realized: you guys don't understand his target audience for this video. He's speaking to people who travel in conferences, tradeshows, speaking engagements. People who are on the road for a week or so. I doubt the commenters here are in that category. But try just try to put yourself in their shoes: his advice is on how to adapt to the travel with minimal problems. Why is that so bad? I don't get why the ferocious insults.
@anon 6:47, 6:57. 7:00...thanks for the input, joel.
@anon 7:00 PM - cool story, bro
I think this guy started as a magician and I think he's in on his own joke... though - he's walking a thin line between joking and being serious. But I do believe he knows well this character he's perfected over many years. He talks about magic and illusion a lot in his interviews I've seen. I think his whole schtick is that he can make you watch ANYTHING for 20 minutes and sell it to you... point proven in the second video.
Here is Joel's 'love interest' - we now have the BIGGEST DOUCHE BAGESS in the World.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zXefE0vh3g
SHE reckons SHE has the best business card! Holy Shite, will these douche bags EVER get it!
Embarassed for the Douche Family.
I honestly believed this guy was a joke. You know, someone like Sasha Baron Cohen or Andy Kaufman, a demented comedic genius that never broke character. I even left a comment to that effect on Youtube. I tried to wikipedia the guy. I did internet searches. I'm still not convinced he's not laughing his ass off when the camera stops rolling. The only other alternative is that he's the anti-Christ.
He might be a robot. 10:41 mark in second video, the head rock is a dead giveaway that he's in need of a reboot.
I got to watch this guy live yesterday at a seminar. Three and a half hours of this high energy crap.
Through the entire thing he talked about having nothing to pitch, wanted to give us all his great products for a small "cover my cost" price...
Of $1997
The pile of stuff he had (CD's, DVD's, Books, etc.) would cost about a hundred bucks to reproduce and another $40 to ship.
Cover his production costs?
Yeah - D-Bag for sure.
Just saw him speak yesterday and I felt like I needed 4 showers with brillo pads to get the scum and negativity off me. I almost gagged leaving the room for being around such scum. He is Shooter McGavin meets Alec Baldwin in GlenGaryGlenRose. I wanted to scub my ears with drano and shower before touching my kids again just they wouldn't get his energy or karma from me....gorss.
Hey Cajun Boy. I lived in south Louisiana for 5 year, love Cajuns, the real ones in the Atchafalaya Basin.
As a person who knows Joel, and has trained with him, I can tell you that he is nothing like the character he was playing in the business card spot. That was part of a film and the director wanted that character. Joel love it, it has created massive income for him.
Do you think Joel is upset about you calling him a douchebag, not at all. He references it and laughs at you because it drives double the traffic to his site.
The part he won't tell you is that at least once per week, he and his 3 kids go into downtown LA and drag someone out of a box. He feeds them, gets them training and helps them get a job and a room.
The funny part is, even though their success rate is only 7%, doesn't matter, he keeps going there and giving people a chance.
How many people homeless people have you fed recently?
@kyla...actually, and i would never bring this up unless you asked, but there's a homeless shelter not far from my apartment that i regularly donate food and money to. and i've become friendly with a couple of the guys who are sheltered there.
with that said, if joel's whole thing is a persona or whatever and he's a genuinely good human being, god bless him. i can only comment on the way he promotes his brand online. so there.
There is NOW WAY that guy is for real. He's acting for sure. No one can pull that off for so long just naturally, without training.
After two days of his training I found it exhausting trying to discern the difference between truth and fiction. There were so many mixed messages I could only draw the conclusion that this man has absolutly no integrity what soever.
Saw him do his sales pitch this past weekend. Couldn't tell what he was selling, but he sure was selling it.
Interesting thread. I have took Joel's basic training (for $2,000) and can't rave enough about it. Like somebody said earlier, he's targeted to a certain crowd - the motivational speakers / self-development / professional crowd. Not for the average guy. Most people who comment here didn't take his seminar. This guy has enormous control over crowds. His marketing techniques aren't sophisticated, yet powerful.
The problem with the perceived notion of people like Joel, is that they can seem intimidating, and therefore people have the need to diminish their quality. I don't know his off stage persona, nor do I care. In my opinion he is the best marketing training experience I have had yet. I own several small businesses and deal with marketing all the time. I have spent more money on other seminars and products that aren't nearly as good.
It seems prudent to be able to comment on someone after the experience, not before. It's almost like seeing something completely out of context.
I am writing you into my will. That is the funniest shit I have seen in decades!!!!!!!!!!!!!Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!
"And you'll see the kanji - this represents the warrior."
Hey Cajun Boy - speak about what you know. You have no clue about Joel. Joel has helped more charities then you could ever. If you only knew. Our country is great because of people like Joel - and festering in negativity due to people like you.
Mike Grim
He isn't a douche at all. I am glad that I found it! Thanks for posting
People take his seminars and they become very successful. Why knock it?
I just sat through a day and an about 15 minutes of the next day of Joel' Bauer's 2 day Passion2Profit seminar. I stayed only because of a friend who invited me, but I just could not take it on day 2 so I left. I think I was in shock. Thank God I did not pay for it. This guy would embarrass Narcissus with how self-absorbed he is. He practically accosts women in these meetings, touching them and acting like he is conveying some kind of shamanic power with it. I'm convinced he was the geeky, fat kid in school who everyone made fun of and he gets his revenge by bullying people who are desperate to make money. His "secrets" are marketing 101, in my opinion dishonest, and bush-league. Yet people were lining up to give him $100 for his business card. He turns parlor (and psychology)tricks into profit that is true. Just goes to show that guys like him and Jay Abraham can get rich off of how flat-out stupid people can be. He gets my vote for doucheiest of them all.
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