A brief history of Republican presidents and COMMUNIST dictators
Pull up a chair kids, I've got a story I'd like to tell you. You see, back in the 50s, 60s, 70s, and 80s, there was this thing called the Soviet Union, and they were THE DEVIL because they drank the blood of their own children for breakfast AND they had to stand in line like assholes in the freezing cold for toilet paper and chicken broth and moldy bread, and they HATED US because of our freedom or something. So for about 40 years we were locked in this thing called the Cold War with those degenerate COMMUNIST fucks, and it was hell man, it was bloody fucking hell! Panic and fear spread all across the land as people built bomb-shelters under their homes reinforced with kryptonite and stocked with shotguns and lifetime supplies of delicious bean dip and potted meat. A cottage industry of catastrophe films sprung up when Hollywood realized that they could separate anxious Americans from their money by scaring them into insanity. Children in schools were even forced to watch many of these cinematic abortions, most of them featuring people melting in nuclear attacks, and then they were told that if they didn't want their own selves to go melting, all they had to do was hide under their desks while reciting the Pledge of Allegiance and a few Hail Mary's when the big one went off, and for some reason all of this all made perfect sense.
Now, I know what you're thinking...Thank Jesus God Christ we had Republicans with huge cocks and huger balls in the White House during the greater part of these trying times, because Republicans don't take no shit from no COMMIE DICTATORS, that's for sure! Rather than warmly greeting any of those pinkos, Republican presidents would slap their elephantine dicks on the table and yell "SUCK IT" the second one of those commies approached with an arm extended looking for a handshake or a pair of Levi's for their mistress Olga, right? Right?
Oh well, let's go to the magic Google machine and find some pictures of our big swinging dick Republican presidents beating the asses of COMMUNISTS, shall we?
Oh wait...what's this...Is that Gerald Ford with Leonid I. Brezhnev? Why yes, it is! And for fuck's sake why is he wearing the native headgear of those Godless beet-eaters?
Well, Ford was a vagina! He got beat by that FAGGOT peanut farmer Jimmy Carter, after all. I mean, there's no way a true red, white and blue Republican like Eisenhower, America's great war general, would ever give these pricks the time of day...whoa, wait a minute...what's this...Eisenhower and Nixon with Nikita "We Will Bury You" Khrushchev IN THE WHITE HOUSE?!
WTF? Well, what about Reagan...surely HE wouldn't, not with the evil Gorbachev, would he?
OOOOHHHHHH...and what the fuck is America's sweetheart former first lady Nancy Reagan doing looking like she might give Gorby a handjob while Ronnie's off eating his jelly beans or something?
Nixon and Brezhnev? WTF?! Are they toasting with BOOZE?! What if Nixon gets drunk and sells them Texas?!?! Wait...don't answer that!
Well, certainly Nixon wouldn't shake hands with Chairman Mao, another COMMUNIST, would he? Oh yeah...
Wow, that was instructive, wasn't it? Apparently Republican presidents have a long, storied history of sucking the puckered assholes of TYRANTS and DICTATORS. And when you consider that America avoided being nuked into the Stone Age during the Cold War, it almost seems like getting to know your adversaries and becoming friendly with them actually acts as a deterrent from them starting wars with you? Go figure! Just like in real life with your neighbors and people you work with!
So why is the current crop of Republicans grinding their ballsacks on sandpaper over Obama shaking hands with an impotent, bloviating shitstain like Hugo Chavez? What are they going to do to us again? Do they even have merchant marines and semi-automatic weapons in Venezuela?
Anyway, in case you need reminding of how scary those Soviets were during the Cold War, check out this clip from The Day After. I saw this as a kid and it scared the ever-living shit out of me...
14 comments:
Top pic seems to be of Ford and Krushchev, isn't it, as Krushchev has the bushy eyebrows?
Wait, what just happened? Brezhnev has the eyebrows. (>o.O<)
I was thinking about Nixon and Mao yesterday. Thanks for putting this together.
RJ
That movie scared the living shit out of me too... I have not seen it since the original broadcast, and I wonder how it stands up...
i'm so glad i found you cb, laughing my fucking ass off...thanks!
You made my day CBITC, colorful language and all. Thanks for the google, we all know rightwingers don't google as they prefer to live with their heads in a toilet full of shit.
Great post.
I agree that the most recent go round of the "shaking hands with dictators" meme is ridiculous. Of course, did you make any posts on the thousands of times the other side for the past 8 years trotted out the pic of Rumsfeld shaking hands with Hussein or Bush holding hands with the crown prince of Saudi Arabia?
@Nick: We helped Saddam out in his younger years because we were afraid the Commies were going to take the Middle East and rob us of our 'black gold.' And then we he decided to get a little too rambunctious for our liking, we took him out.
/ Dane Cook'd
I don't want to speak for Cajun, but I think the reason he put those Bush pics up with the Saudi kings was to bring up the question, "Hey, if you're going to rake Obama over the coals for bowing to a Saudi king, remember these pics of Bush and his 'boyfriend' holding hands and kissing one another?"
I was just thinking the other day, "but what about all those times Republicans spent weekends at Camp David with the very people who were going to nuke us?" Thanks for this. It truly made my day.
While "The Day After" was a pretty scary flick, it DID have the feel of a "made for TV" movie. "Threads", a BBC production about a similar scenario that came out around the same time and was aired on PBS in the states, was a more frightening and realistic view of a nuclear clash between the USSR and the West. It's available on DVD if anyone is interested.
Considering the fact that yest on NPR I heard that the Taliban is within 60 miles of the Pakistani capitol and the button that controls their nucs, this clip from "The Day After" might just describe one of my fav bushism's "the near distant future".
nick, you buffoon
did the dems ever claim that bush or rummey were traitors to their nation because of the hand shakes?
no
what they did was present the hypocracy of those two fucks
oh look, sadaam is hitler
of course, we are the ones who created that hitler...but lets not mention that
god, you wingnuts make me ill
cb may be the last sane republican on the face of the planet
If this post is to show that both paries' leaders shook hands with scum, fine. :) But you have to do some research on Ted Kennedy. He conpired behind Reagans backs with the Soviets to undermine Reagans plans to win the Cold War, which Reagan did. And George Bush (papa) finished. When Ted Kennedy found out he could be found out he got the congress to pass a law giving people in his position the executive priviledge style protections that presidents have. So then he could not be prosecuted for his treason after he already committed it. What a way to spit on JFK's life and grave (staunch anti-communist and NRA life member)...Ted Kennedy was a COMMIE!
Post a Comment