Scattered thoughts 2/12/09

-I've spent a good part of the day ruminating on the whole Joaquin Phoenix on Letterman thing. I've also read some of the opinions of others, opinions that run the gamut from "he's crazy," "he's a genius," "Letterman's a prick," and on and on and on. Anyway, here's my own personal conclusion...Whatever the hell was going on with JP last night, whether it was drugs or a publicity stunt or whatever, the smelly twat was wasting airtime on Letterman’s show with that nonsense. Frankly, he’s lucky Letterman didn’t kick him off the show after the first segment and fill the airtime in the second segment with some sort of skit involving the audience or just he and Paul bantering back and forth to each other about what a toolbag Joaquin Phoenix is. Instead, Dave gave him many chances to redeem himself, to open up some semblance of normal human dialogue, and he refused to do so each time. And I’m not buying the insanity angle one bit either. If the guy is just coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs as some have suggested, I’m pretty sure that someone close to him, whether it be a friend or a family member or a PR person for the film he was promoting, would have taken note of the erosion of his mental state over time, this sort of thing doesn’t just happen suddenly and without warning after all, and canceled his booking on the show, which leads me to believe that it was an staged act or the result of drug use. Either way, once he comes down from his high or finally gives up his performance piece, he owes Letterman a public apology.

Whatever be the case, he got off easy. If I were the host of that show last night, I think I would’ve had his ass physically removed from the stage while the cameras were still rolling. He deserved nothing more in my opinion.

-Each time I see that "The funny thing about changing your life is that it can change everything" promo for Confessions of a Shopaholic, I die a little inside. I mean, out of a 90 minute movie, is that really the most profound line of dialogue? And what the fuck does that even mean?

-I've lived in New York for six years now and I don't think I've ever met a single person who attended the New School University right here in Manhattan. Just saying. The place seems like some sort of ghost institution or something.

-As you might have read, a few days ago an elderly black man from North Louisiana was arrested trying to "deliver a package" to Barack Obama. Inside the package was a rifle. Now, I'm not sure what the old man's motivations were, but the first thing to cross my mind when I read this was, "Jesus Christ even the black people in North Louisiana are fucking racists!" It reminded me of that blind, black Klan leader skit on Dave Chappelle's show from a few years back. Except this guy's not blind...he knows that he's black!

-Sarah Palin's birthday was yesterday. A belated "Happy Birthday" to you Sarah Palin.

-Did you hear about how Salma Hayek was touring Africa with a Nightline film crew and just started breast-feeding a random child? Well, here's the video if you haven't. And I can't be the only sick fuck who watched this desperately straining to see some of her nipple, can I?



-Something lost in all of the Joaquin Phoenix on Letterman controversy was the appearance of Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue cover girl Bar Refaeli on the show last night. Toward the end of her interview, Refaeli mentioned how after the show she was going to a party with the other girls from the issue and was then flying to Vegas on a big Sports Illustrated swimsuit model party plane for another party. I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ON THAT FUCKING PLANE!

Ugh, I need a fucking drink.