In which I re-think my longtime desire to have a primate as a pet

For the longest time I've been enamored with the idea of having a chimp or some other form of monkey as a pet. Part of a "Fake Goldman Trader" story I wrote a while back sort of tapped into that fascination. I'd just like to say here and now that events that have transpired in recent days involving "Travis the Chimp" have effectively killed all desires I may have been harboring to ever have a chimp for a pet. I'll stick to cats, thank you very much.

If you've read anything about this incident, the story of Travis, the seemingly docile and eerily human-like pet of an old lady in Connecticut who went berserk and ripped the face off of another lady because it wanted to be taken for a ride in a car, is something straight out of a horror movie. But the audio tape of the 911 call to local police by Travis' owner will positively send chills down your spine...



And in what may be the best journalistic timing ever, Esquire has a piece in their current issue titled "The Worst Story I Ever Heard" about another attack by two "domesticated" chimps. Go read it. It's terrifying.

Like I said...I think I'll stick to cats.

And of course, none of this would matter at all if somebody didn't publish an editorial cartoon of questionable taste in regards to the whole thing. This time, the good ole New York Post (surprise!) stepped up to the plate...



Al Sharpton isn't pleased.