Fox News Breaking Alert: A monkey with a bright blue ballsack is on the loose in Seattle!
OMG Y'ALL....deranged monkey madness is running wild across America! It's now hitting all those Godless, latte-sipping, liberal practitioners of faggotism in the Pacific Northwest! A monkey with a "bright blue scrotum" has escaped from its cage in the Seattle zoo! So if you're in Seattle and you see an angry monkey running around in the street, make sure he has a bright blue ballsack before you call the zoo, okay? Because if the monkey you see has say, a pinkish hue colored ballsack, that's not the monkey in question! So you can totally not worry about having to call the local authorities or whatever.
And thanks to Fox News for leading the charge to fan the flames of America's burgeoning "all monkeys will eat your face off" hysteria...
(via Wonkette)
Last week it was all of our celebrities who were going insane, this week it's our primates! What the fuck is going on here?!?!?!
4 comments:
Maybe the lonely chimp-widow in CT can help get rid of this monkey's blue balls.
i, myself, prefer my monkeys with a vermillion hue upon the ballsack!
you rock cajun dude.
So you're saying that the celebrities that were going ballistic last week AREN'T primates (both figuratively and literally)?
This shit is so funny, I'm wiping tears.
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