Citigroup to American Taxpayers: "We didn't use bailout money to buy $50,000,000 private jet...We had that shit staaaaashed!"
Despite my best efforts, I truly can't seem to wrap my brain around the cascading waves of dipshittery produced by this whole Citigroup private jet purchase thing. Here's what they said in response to the growing controversy in a statement released on Monday...
It is important to note that TARP funds will not be used for (private jet) purchases. Citi will continue to comply with all TARP requirements.
Oh, so what, did you guys have a separate bank account set up for the bailout money or something? And you guys wrote a check from the other account? Oh, okay, and that's supposed to make this all chicken nuggets and cherry pie, right? Oh, ok, I see.
WHAT. THE. FUCK?
Are you freaking kidding me?!?! What...I don't...I truly don't have any words for the audacity on display here. Let's make up a pretend "real world" scenario and see if it helps us to understand it and feel any better about it, shall we?
Let's say you've got a friend, or a brother or a sister or a cousin, someone that you're close to, who has a drug problem, a severe drug problem, so severe that it's caused he or she to lose their job. So he or she comes to you and asks to borrow say, oh, I don't know, a grand, to help them get back up on their feet while they kick the habit and rebuild their lives, because they've spent all of their money and they've got no job and the rent is now due. You, caring deeply for this person and worried what the ramifications will be for you and your immediate circle if you didn't pony up to help out, loan them the grand to pay rent, buy groceries and gas and all of that sort of stuff.
Now, fast forward to a week or so later, and you show up unannounced at the home of the person you loaned the money to, and the first thing you see upon walking through the door is a big mountain of cocaine on the coffee table. You confront your friend, cousin, brother, sister, whatever the person is to you, and basically ask, "what the fuck motherfucker?!" How would it make you feel if this was the response you got in return...
"Well, um, yeah, but I didn't use any of your money to buy that cocaine. I bought it with some money I'd been keeping under the mattress for a while!"
Would that make you feel any better? I think the fuck not. You'd feel like an idiot, a Goddamned sucker, and rightfully so, because that's exactly what you'd be. And you know what? That's exactly what we are in terms of bailing out these Wall Street pricks. I've fucking had it. Obviously. I almost want somebody's blood at this point. Seriously.
Now excuse me while I go do some deep breathing exercises or something to bring my heart rate back down to normal. Maybe I'll just punch some random guy wearing a suit and carrying a copy of Barrons under his arm. At least that'd make ME feel a little bit better. I think.
UPDATE: Wow. Our new magic negro Muslim terrorist President, Barack Allah Obama, has killed the purchase of the jet. Apparently he set Rahm Emanuel over to Citi's corporate offices and he held bitches out the window or something. From HuffPo...
ABC News has learned that Monday officials of the Obama administration called Citigroup about the company's new $50 million corporate jet and told execs to "fix it."
Citi officials then released a statement this morning stating "We have no intent to take delivery of any new aircraft."
13 comments:
once again...What even more amazing is that nodoby has managed to complain about our DEMOCRATIC congress that pushed this bailout with NO oversight. no regulation of how the money can be spent and no time frame to which it would possibly be paid back to the taxpayers. if you voted for a current congress or senator that voted for this bailout...you can thank yourself for bullshit like this. and if you voted for OBAMA thank yourself for even more of this considering the new bailout plan currently underway!
@anon...dude, don't come here and start that. this thing came from both sides. but if any deserves credit for "pushing" it, it's the bush administration.
i will say this though...and i gave praise to them back when the first bailout vote failed...the main opposition came from the more conservative republican members of the house, the ones who stayed true to their free market roots and had the nuts to stand up under intense pressure. unfortunately, most of them caved on the second go round.
now, i'm trying to be patient with this thing, really i am, but the more i hear stories like this the more pissed i and millions of others get. i mean, i get the economic thinking behind it, but it still doesn't feel right. and this sort of brazen behavior just gets a bug in my asshole.
W would have had noooo problem with that jet. This represents at least something happening, finally. I'm happy!
dude, my crush on rahm is seriously growing by the hour. the thought of him and obama putting these fools in check is enough to make me swoon in a major way... it also doesn't hurt that rahm is so damn filthy hot. mmmmhm.
i fucking love my president.
Great analogy. You always have a knack for simplifying things in an interesting way.
They just released another statement. They're not sure what they're going to do because if they don't take delivery they'll incur millions of dollars in penalties.
@twoeightnine...you've got to be fucking kidding me!?
Simple solution to the penalty: Take the 50mil they were about to spend on it off the top of their 45bill, then penalize them even more by letting the penalty also occur to them. So now they just lost 50+ mill that was going to a jet, and just lost it altogether.
Sad part is 50 mill off of 45bill is the 1penny to 9 dollars = chump change.
They may end up with OUR plane, and I do mean OUR plane because you know we all paid for it and apparently we overlooked the fine print on the contract that allows Citijerks to fly for free, BUT the fact that Obama fired a warning shot across the bough is pretty cool. Just me, but I am thinking if Obama's team calls the dealership and says the plane sale is not going to happen and there will be no penalties, they will STFU and find another buyer.
Anon, for the record I was against TARP and I am against any further release of funds, but I am trusting that the new and improved president will actually have the balls and brains to make this bailout work like the first one should have. My ultimate wet dream would be for Obama's administration to go after some of these banking thieves, and I mean all the way up the ladder to Bush, and demand repayment and/or do some jail time for fraud and theft.
I might be. I'm not sure anymore. I was watching CNN and that's what they said... but now I can't find anyone else reporting that.
The whole point is, rich people don't care. They don't care about you, about the poor, about your lack of health care, about animals, about the environment. They don't care about anyone or anything, not their wives or kids or pets or neighbors or coworkers. All they care about is their bank accounts. They are unevolved unaware hollow souls with a breathtaking poverty of spirit and consciousness. God help them evolve. God make some spiritual souls rich to show the way to everyone else. God give them all the consciousness to know the right thing to do, to know how to care, to know they will reap what they sow.
I know what they can do with that plane....load it up with all the crooks and from all these corporations and fly it straight into the side of a mountain...or they could donate it to transport organs donated for transplant or for medical flights... something humanitarian...or they could load it up with crooks and fly it into the side of a mountain....
Rahm and Obama are kicking ass and taking names, yippee!
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