"The biggest clusterfuck in the history of clusterfucks"
Over the course of the last couple of days I've been confronted with a few "I can't believe you were offered tickets to the inaugural and didn't go" greetings from friends and assorted Internet people. My reasoning for not attending, again, was three-pronged...a) I would have had to travel to DC and back in one day and that would have made for a travel nightmare, b) I DON'T LIKE BEING EXPOSED TO DONG-SHRINKING COLD WEATHER, especially for hours at a time, and the weather in the northeast on that day was most definitely dong-shrinking, and c) the whole thing was being run by the United States Federal Government, so it was assured to be a clusterfuck! And I'm to the point in my life where I do everything I can to avoid clusterfucks. The reason I didn't go to the inaugural are the same reasons I've never been to Times Square on New Year's Eve. Period.
I will, however, make a point in attending any event in which one of my friends gets smashed in the face with a cookie sheet, but that's neither here nor there.
So, anyway, I have to admit to taking a slight bit of satisfaction in knowing that EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. I know that went has conveyed to me that their time at the inauguration was a complete clusterfuckish experience. I've also come across the stories of people I don't know who have conveyed the exact same feeling about their experience, that the whole thing was indeed an exercise in clusterfuckery.
And then I saw this report on the inauguration from The Daily Show's John Oliver the other night, an event he termed "the biggest clusterfuck in the history of clusterfucks," and I took an even greater sense of satisfaction in knowing that I was right. It's pretty damn funny as well, which is why I'm posting it here.
Now, with all of that said, I'm not trying to gloat here people, don't misinterpret me, but I have to admit to being somewhat relieved that the thing did turn out as I predicted it would, otherwise I'd really regret not going. But to those of you who did, I hope that it was worth it in your minds and hearts, because outside of that, nothing else really matters.
7 comments:
I think I'd have skipped the inauguration part and just gone to an Inaugural Ball. A guy from the office went and said the inauguration part was a nightmare of people (and he was staying four blocks away from the mall) but at least they were all happy even if you couldn't see or hear. ?? Would you freeze for that? Not me. He went to an Invitation-only ball too, the last one Obama attended, and he met Obama and the Bidens and said everyone was wonderful, very approachable and looking fresh and energized even after such a long day, and my friend was really glad he stayed till after midnight to meet them. He did however also say he wouldn't rush out to repeat the whole experience again. So there you go. I'd go to a ball. But the TV was just fine for the freezing I-Can't-See-or-Hear-Anything inauguration part.
My friends all had a great time, one even got one of those fancy gilt-edged invites and sat in a chair, for crying out loud. Another said he couldn't feel his fingers at one point, but a couple of flasks of 12-year-old bourbon killed the pain. He got great pix and is still igh on the experience. I was too lazy to get it together to go and must say I felt more than a twinge of regret, but hearing reports from my friends balanced out the regret
You go for the experience, not necessarily to enjoy yourself, but to know firsthand what it was like.
The idea of being stuck in a crowded tunnel for 4 hours is nightmarish, though and I wouldn't have stuck around for that.
I'll g'head and insert my comment from my own post about this today:
... let's think about this logically for a second and maybe if someone had done a little homework they wouldn't be crying in their milk.
Say you are given "tickets" to The Inauguration. Those tickets get you into a GATE, which necessitates passing through security, which then allows you to stand alongside thousands of other people. Neat. What exactly is the worth of those tickets again? The right to stand alongside other people. Not seats. Not a handshake from Malia and Sasha. Merely the "right" to say you're special and scored tickets. Great, you and 240,000 other people.
... So say you had looked at the maps available on the 3,725 websites the week before Inuaguration, looked at the placement of the Jumbotrons and then realized, "Hmmm ... I don't even have access to a damn screen with those tickets." Option A: "tickets" = security, gates, no screen and no clear view of the capitol. Option B: walking in, finding a spot in front of a jumbotron, zero security, zero lines.
Kids, listen up. Start doing your homework now. Because some day when you get "tickets" to a fancy affair and don't do your homework and don't have a game plan .... all you get is f*cked in the ass by the man.
i'm just surprised nobody punched that 'reporter' in the face. i and other americans cay say what we want about this country, but everybody else can stfu, similar to the 'n' word conversation he had wit da bruthas
i'm with lilSass. the complaints of the "purple tunnel people" and their demands to be comforted by a personal meeting with the president and/or the first lady are over the top.
it all comes down to what could be reasonably expected/organized for the crowd that poured into dc that day,most of which did not have a golden ticket. the numbers predicted were anywhere from 500,000 to one million or more. add very cold weather, and the difficulty of getting around in the company of those numbers, and you have the dropout point of those who feel they would feel perfectly fine perched in front of their own television, their extremities intact, no less patriotic or sincere in their wishes for a spirited day and success for the administration.
i must add that those who complained about THE CHILDREN suffering have to take responsibility for their comfort and safety. i would no more bring a child into uncertain conditions like that than i would the st. patrick's or puerto rican day parades in nyc--the crowds are overwhelming (and predictably so), at the very least.
that this would be compared to hurricane katrina as a callous disregard for obama devotees is a bit rich. lots of us gave of our personal time and energy to see him nominated, but feel no more entitled than the next person to a reserved seat and warm reception.
on the bright side, it sounds like they had enough toilets available.
I went and I would go again. I didn't have tickets. I took a charter bus to DC. The bus didn't leave early enough, so by the time we got there we were pretty close to the Washington Monument, but close enough to the jumbotron to see and hear everything. It is something that I will never forget. And now that I have seen clips from MSNBC I am even happier that I didn't watch from home because hearing Chris Matthews commentary would have definitely ruined the moment. What a buzz kill.
Bad form or not, Bush deserved to be BOOED!
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