Why buy your armoire and casket separately, when you can get both when you purchase the 'Carmoire?'

Hey there Sparky! Sick of being violently sodomized with a Louisville Slugger financially by the local funeral home director each and every time a member of your family kicks it? Yeah, well, are you also not quite sure what to do about the lack of shelving in your family room? Need a good place to display your co-ed softball league MVP trophy AND need something inexpensive to bury Aunt Emma in when she finally bites it from the Alzheimer's? Well, fret no more Stinky Britches, because I've got the perfect deal for you! Introducing the "Carmoire"...





It's an armoire AND a casket! Oh yeah. You know you want one. Check out a couple of the testimonials from the official Carmoire website...

"I love my Carmoire! I like the fact that it uses very little floor space; yet because of its height, has tremendous storage capacity. After I transferred all the bed linens from my old chest over to the new Carmoire, I still had
a lot of space left! (It’s amazing because that old chest was packed full.) So, I placed all my blankets in the Carmoire as well. The thing I’m happiest about is that I get the use of this furniture from now until I die. If I had gone the conventional route, my kids would have had to cough up several thousand dollars from their inheritance to buy a fiberglass
coffin only to have it buried and gone after a couple of days use. Thank you for making such a beautiful, versatile product!"
Christi – Houston, Tx

"I am elderly and needed a cabinet for storing blankets and sheets. How interesting to find a product that would serve as storage and as a beautiful pine casket for only $600. The funeral home prices for caskets were in the thousands of dollars, and I would feel guilty leaving that cost to my sons. Three cheers for the maker of these unique and beautiful but reasonably priced Carmoires."
Lillian – Abilene, Tx

And if you order now you can get a top of the line Carmoire for only $675! Not to mention that they'll drop the delivery charge if you happen to reside with 180 miles of their warehouse in Cat Spring, Texas!

Want more info? You should check out the totally awesome Carmoire video...



And just in case you're wondering, this isn't a joke. It's totally legit. I called the number on the website and spoke to Alan, the owner of the business. Unfortunately, they're not set up to deliver outside of the state of Texas at this time. :( Hearing that sort of raped my soul. I was gonna forgo cremation for one of these bad boys! Oh well. I wonder if Frances Barton had one of these?

Thanks for the tip Kris!