Saban on Auburn loss: "This is just like the Holocaust!"

Last week Alabama football coach Nick Saban foolishly compared his team's loss to Louisiana Monroe to catastrophic events in history like 9/11 and Pearl Harbor. Following Alabama's loss over the weekend to Auburn, its fiercest and most hated rival, Saban had this to say...



"As many of you already know because I stated it pretty clearly last week, great changes in history will often rise from the smoldering ashes of catastrophic events. Last week I made the analogy that losing to The University of Louisiana at Monroe was like our Pearl Harbor or 9/11. Well, I'm here to tell you that losing to Auburn is no less of a significant event. In fact, it's worse. For us, this is just like the Holocaust!

Did you see that team out there today? They were blitzkrieging our quarterback John Parker Wilson relentlessly, like they were stormtroopers swooping down into Poland, that's what they were. And our offensive line crumbled and fell like Warsaw. It was a total broad front annihilation! They steamrolled our forces on the north, east and western flanks. Auburn defensive linemen Quentin Groves and Sen'derrick Marks are like goddamn Panzer tanks out there. We were defenseless against them!

And that damn coach of their's, Tommy Tuberville, did you see that little maniacal dictator patrolling the sidelines? Oh yeah, Brandon Cox may have been the one to administer the final solution with his little quarterback sneak with 3:50 left to play, but let me assure you here and now that he was merely acting on orders. He was nothing more than Adolf Eichmann to Tuberville's Hitler! Jordan Hare Stadium was our Auschwitz today.

But you know what, all of this is gonna be alright. The result of the Holocaust was the formation of the state of Israel, and we all see how that's turned out. Those Israelis are badasses! Nobody fucks with them. Try and they'll evaporate your ass and then celebrate your demise with a Lox bagel. And that's what it's gonna be like around here. It all starts with me, the head of the Crimson Tide brain trust, the Mossad if you will. So to all you teams out there that have been beating up on Alabama all season, get ready because things are about to change round these parts. I suggest you all go out and rent "Munich" if you'd like a preview of what's to come. Just try not to wet your footie pajamas when you go to bed at night after watching it!

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