i will blow you for genesis tickets

earlier today i was digging around on craigslist for tickets to an upcoming arcade fire concert. i noticed what i deemed to be a ridiculous number of ads seeking tickets to the genesis concert at giants stadium on thursday, most of which were written by fans exuding desperation. this confounded me. i then felt sufficiently motivated to post this ad on craigslist today.

i will blow you for genesis tickets
Reply to: sale-432912540@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-09-26, 4:20PM EDT


hi there. i'm sure that if you're someone who is in possession of disposable tickets for the genesis show at giants stadium on the 27th, you're getting inundated with offers for them. predictably, there exists an substantial and understandable demand for tickets at this point. genesis is, after all, the originators of moody, simple, keyboard-driven melodies. that's why they call themselves genesis...because it means "the beginning." in biblical terms mind you! who didn't get moist the first time they heard "invisible touch?" i sure did. i passed what felt like fucking zimbabwe through my cock when i first heard that song. so i'm sure you'll understand why i'm making the offer that i'm about to make for your tickets.

i will blow you, or a loved one of your choosing for that matter, for genesis tickets.

now, before i go any further, let me explain something...I'M NOT GAY! seriously, i bang broads all the time. i just got done banging a broad! in the ass no less! dudes ain't my thing. never have been, never will. oh, well, there was this one time with my frat brother trey back in college...we did waaay too many lemondrop shots over at pete's brew barn and wound up back at the frat house masturbating in front of each other. BUT WE NEVER TOUCHED EACH OTHER!

so i reiterate...i'm not gay. i just so desperately want to hear phil collins bray "pseu-pseu pseudio" into the mic in front of 65,000 other rabid genesis fans THAT BAD!

maybe you've never been blown by a dude before and have some reservations? certainly, that's understandable. but then again, neither have i been with a dude. so it'll be cool! what i have been with are plenty of broads and they just love what i can do down there. i've even been told that i should get paid for my cunnilingus skills, that perhaps i should offer cunnilingus therapy or something. i've also been told that i have a soft, warm mouth. i imagine that sticking your dick in my mouth would be akin to wrapping yourself into a warm electric blanket on a sub-zero winter night.

maybe you're a little too freaked out by this proposal? perhaps you've got a little brother or a nephew that you think could use some prick-plunging? i'd be willing to blow you or them...hell, i'd be willing to blow both of you!!!

i want these tickets THAT BAD. and again, I'M NOT GAY!

if you're a girl who is looking to unload some tickets, the offer stands to you as well. i will perform oral on you AND your boyfriend/husband. we can even play "in the air tonight" as mood music!

so...what do ya say?!?!?


here's the link to the original ad...

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/tix/432912540.html

i'm sure that it will be flagged and removed shortly if it hasn't already.

UPDATE: since i posted this earlier i've received a few messages expressing bewilderment over my love of genesis and my willingness to blow a guy.

SARCASM PEOPLE, SARCASM!

i am no fan of genesis nor do i desire to felate any dudes!

check yourselves!

UPDATE #2

here are links to my posts from the two days following originally posting this ad. the minor stir that this thing has created is as hilarious as it is bewildering...

thursday...some people are indeed willing to part with their genesis tickets for a blowjob from a random dude

friday...day 3 of the "i will blow you for genesis tickets" phenomenon


is barack obama trying to send some sort of subliminal message?

hmmm...


via barack.senate.gov


slutz

a reader and blogger by the name of "unacknowledged genius" sent me this. it's a commercial for the hot new toy for young girls this year. "slutz." they're like slutty barbie dolls. and they come complete with tramp stamps!




arianna huffington in usa today

i read arianna huffington's the huffington post on a daily basis. it's one of the more popular blog/news sites on the interweb. there's a good article on her and her site in today's usa today. the link is below...

usa today article on arianna huffington

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