tossed, a somewhat cautionary tale

a disclaimer: this one ain't for the faint-hearted

one of the things that i tend to marvel incessantly about is the ability of sensory stimuli to seemingly transport me to another place in time. it could be a song or a scent or, as was the case this morning, both that do the trick. either way, it never ceases to stun me with the manner in which i feel as though i'm in another place again, albeit this feeling is usually fleeting, lasting typically no longer than a few seconds. still, it freaks me out a bit.

such was the case this morning as i was walking across 57th street on 6th avenue while listening to my ipod, which i had set in "shuffle" mode. a song popped up in the shuffle and began blasting in my ears. the song in question was "mint car" by the cure. it had been forever since i'd heard that song. i smiled when i heard it. it reminded me of a girl. a particular night with a girl to be exact.

The sun is up
I'm so happy I could scream!
And there's nowhere else in the world I'd rather be
Than here with you
It's perfect
It's all I ever wanted
I almost can't believe that it's for real

hearing those lyrics actually made me laugh out loud a bit. within a minute of this i popped into the starbucks at 56th and 6th and there was a girl in the store who was wearing a perfume, i'm not sure what the name of it is, but it was the same perfume that the girl that "mint car" reminded me of used to wear.

I really don't think it gets any better than this
Vanilla smile
And a gorgeous strawberry kiss!
Birds sing we swing
Clouds drift by and everything is like a dream
It's everything I wished

the girl in question is one that i knew briefly but one that left an indelible mark on me, some might say a stain of sorts, but a good stain.

i met her on the subway, the times square to grand central shuttle to be exact, on a sunday afternoon in july of 2002. we were sitting next to each other. i recall having a book in my hand.

"whatcha reading," she asked?

that sparked a conversation, an intense flirtation really, after which we exchanged numbers. she was an italian girl born and raised in jersey. looking back on it, i suppose that she was a bit of a guidette, but i didn't care, she was blazing hot. not to mention the fact that i had just arrived and a jersey girl was an entirely different animal than any breed of woman i'd ever encountered.

i was game.

a few days later we talked on the phone. having both come from families and cultures that food and eating is a centerpiece for life, we talked a lot about food and cooking. we decided that we should cook for each other. a few days later she came over to my apartment and i cooked a big pot of crawfish etoufee. it was, of course, divine. at the end of the night i kissed her goodbye and we made plans for her to cook a big italian meal over at her place a few nights later.

Never guessed it got this good
Wondered if it ever would
Really didn't think it could
Do it again?
I know we should!!!

so a few days later i went over to her place. she made pasta and her mother's recipe for "sauce." sooooo good. we were both fat and happy and quite drunk from all the red wine that we had consumed by the time we were done, so we decided to go to the park afterwards to walk it off a bit.

during our walk jersey girl dropped a bomb on me...seems that she had met me during a cooling off phase with a boyfriend of 3 years and that they had broken up for a bit to "figure things out" but had decided earlier that day to get back together. i was somewhat bummed.

but then she added this disclaimer or sorts...

"so technically tonight's my last night to have fun as a single girl."

there was something about her eyes and the way that she pursed her lips when she told me this. the message that she conveyed with that statement coupled with her facial body language was undeniable...she wanted to have the cajun boy for dessert, and visa versa.

when we made our way back to her apartment i was faced with a dilemma. the heat and humidity on this night were through the roof and we had been walking for about an hour and all of this combined to leave me with that not so fresh feeling down below.

as we say down the bayou, i had a major case of swamp ass.

so i asked jersey girl if it would be okay for me to take a shower. she smiled coyly and led me to her bathroom where i then jumped in. once inside the shower i noticed that there did not appear to be any soap contained within, so i called out to ask her if she would bring me some. she said that she would.

within a few seconds i began to hear music playing. "mint car" by the cure. shortly thereafter the shower curtain was flung open and there she was naked, fresh bar of soap in hand, shit-eating grin planted firmly in place. she stepped in and we began making out. while we made out she used one of her hands to run the bar of soap across my body. with her other free hand she held, well, me.

eventually she pulled away from kissing me and began drifting south until she was, well, i really don't know how else to say this, blowing me. in her right hand she still had the bar of soap, which she was passing all over my lower back and down to my thighs. eventually she began to wander back there with the bar of soap. keep in mind here that this was a new bar of soap, fresh out of the box, one with extremely well-defined corners.

yeah, she went there with the soap. then she dropped the soap and put her fingers back there while she was blowing me. then she stopped and made her way around and didn't stop until she had buried her face back there. meanwhile, she had "mint car" on repeat or something because it kept playing over and over and over again.

The sun is up
I'm so fizzy I could burst!
You wet through and me headfirst
Into this is perfect
It's all I ever wanted
Ow! It feels so big it almost hurts!

i was kinda hunched over at this point with my face pressed against the bathroom tile of her shower. jersey girl was working it like a pro. the whole time i'm thinking things like, "this feels kinda good...am i supposed to be liking this...does this make me gay?"

i never saw that girl again after that night. there have been others who have ventured back there since, a couple of whom even attempted to convince me to allow them to don strap-ons and do ME back there (i swear i didn't let it happen!), but jersey girl will always be my first and for that, she will always occupy a very special place in my, errrr, heart.

she and "mint car" by the cure will always be synonymous. and i'll probably smile every time i hear that song for the duration of my life.

Say it will always be like this
The two of us together
It will always be like this
Forever and ever and ever...


ok, i swear, i am not stalking john mayer!!!

so around mid-afternoon today i found myself in soho and in desperate need of a pick-me-up so i did what i always do when needing such, i popped on in to starbucks. so i hit the starbucks on the corner of crosby and spring and i walk up to the line and who should so happen to be standing in line in front of me? john fucking mayer.

now after what happened on friday and everything i'm sure that some of you may be wondering if i'm stalking the dude.

absolutely not.

to the contrary, i think that mayer may be actually stalking me!!! well, maybe not, but making that insinuation amuses me.

of course, i just HAD to snap a camera phone pic. that amuses me as well. perhaps that can be an on-going gag here on the site...me snapping camera phone pics of john mayer every time i see him around downtown manhattan.

sorry for the blur...i didn't get a steady shot...probably from the shakes of caffeine withdrawal.



david vitter likes cajun whores too AND may be a member of the diaper pail friends!

the plot thickens...

when the dc madam story first broke in late april/early may, i documented some thoughts on it in an entry titled "unhappy endings." in this entry i told the story of vernon roger, a south louisiana news anchor who was busted with prostitutes while acting out a bizarre fetish...soiling diapers and having the whores clean him up afterwards. disgraced, he committed suicide a short time after his arrest.

well guess what folks? how's this for fucking irony?!?! according to this story on that i found linked on wonkette, david vitter also enjoys soiling diapers and having his whores clean him up!!!

god i'm proud to be a louisianian. when we fork out money for hookers by god we get our fucking money's worth!!!


will it blend?

this may be my new favorite website. the concept is simple. dude in a lab coat puts stuff in a blender and blends it up. in this clip, dude in white lab coat blends an iphone.

http://www.willitblend.com/videos.aspx?type=unsafe&video=iphone


thursdays are fun, aren't they?!?!